Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Interesting zen blog

This is not my temple, but I like this person's blog, and there are some pictures that may give you a taste...

http://endlessknotcushions.com/blog/

Daily life

Temple life is so amazing here. Up at 4:40 (ish...), optional running time 4:50-5:10, exercise 5:10-5:30, zazen 5:40-6:20, morning chanting 6:20-7, breakfast at 7 (and what a process meal time is...that's gotta be a blog entry in itself!), tidy up the temple for 15 minutes, then break till samu (work time) at 8:50, tea time at 10 with various juices, teas, and snacks, then free time till lunch at 11:30, then more free time until afternoon samu 1:30 and afternoon tea at 3 (the Japanese love their tea time!). Then evening chanting at 4, supper at 5 (an interesting change from no dinner in Thailand...my body is still not sure about temple life with dinner...I am getting closer to learning to stop when I am full), then three 40 minute rounds of zazen from 6:20-7, 7:20-8, and 8:20-9. Then everyone who needs it (often most of us...) takes a shower (sometimes we have to share for expediency's sake), and then it's bedtime.

I love temple life. Sitting is not always easy--mind is mind...I want to be here, I want to stay forever, I don't understand the purpose of life, I want out of here!, ah, isn't this peaceful, I hate mosquitoes, judgement, judgement, descrimination, criticism, meta, loving-kindness to all beings, love, hope, joy, sorrow, regret (too heavy...recognize and set them down), All this is the flash of an eye or over the course of a week. And the second round of the evening is always a mosquito fest. I wanted to run from the zendo screaming the other day because of the bites...now I sit with a blanket wrapped around my lap. It's a lot easier to deal with the sensation of dripping sweat than becoming a mosquito pin cushion... I feel the practice of emptiness suits my mind a lot better than constant noting like they taught me in Thailand. I wish I had kept up a daily mindfulness/sitting practice. I feel like I'm sitting in front of Einstein trying to learn my multiplication tables...d'oh.

I'm not sure this is the lineage I want to profess homage to forever, but I am grateful for this chance to practice now. Yesterday, two people metioned I can ask for a jukai--a dharma name. There is a woman from Tokyo who will ask in a few days, I think, so maybe we can ask together? yet another name...*sigh* I'm a little tired of new names. Like the rabbi said in Teasdale, the name of the person is the name of God. I already have my birth name (Marabeth--house of bitter waters), the nick-name half I am using now (Mare--female horse, or ocean), my capoeira name (Docura--sweet), my french name I took in high school (Renee-Christiane), and my Pali name from Thailand (Siritaree--one who maintains one's merits). Well, I guess if they want to give me one and the master thinks it is the right time...my heart will know if it is right. Whatever I am called, I am still just this one part of universal consciousness.

I hope everyone is healthy and happy and peaceful. I'll try to send you guys some pictures, but I haven't had the nerve to borrow a digital camera here yet. Blessings!

A bit of Roshi Sama's life history

A few days ago, the zen master at our temple officated over a disagreement some women are having about our shared living space. We are 8 women sharing a tatami mat room about 30' x 30' with 3 thin sliding dividers and curtains separating the shared space. There are 2 toilets outside and one shower down the hall past the central meditation room. Unfortunately, curtains do not keep mosquitoes out. One woman has a lung problem and needs air circulation and another woman is having trouble sleeping because of the mosquitoes. hmmmm...well, the master (Roshi Sama is his name) said ego ego ego is the problem of all of us. Practice Zazen, see the truth, we are all one. we are all one (his words for this phenomenon are actually: Everything myself. One truth. Heaven and Earth one root. Everything myself.).

Then he told a long story beginning with how his mother gave her life to give him birth. I cried from the her conviction and the tenderness of this sacrifice. His mother found out she had cancer 5 or 6 months into her term, and the doctors and her family begged her to have a surgery to save her life. They said this child would forgive her, but she would not listen. She waited to have the surgery till after she birthed him, her 4th child. It was too late for surgery and 3 months later she died.

As he was speaking, he realized it was the anniversary of her death (not the exact month, but the day of the month), so no wonder he wanted to speak about her. I was so touched.

He also shared about his teen years as a special forces agent in the Japanese army. He was a kamakazi pilot. 30 minutes before he was to fly his mission--bomb loaded on the plane, mind fixed on his purpose--the emperor announced that Japan had surrendered. They had lost the war.

He was devastated. All his seniors were dead. They had thrown their lives away and he was still alive. Grief. Agony. Despair. He was so intent on this goal, he had volunteered to join the special forces at 17, one year earlier than you are supposed to be allowed to enter. I thought of my grandfather in the marines at 17 at Pearl Harbor...

Shortly after this agony, Roshi Sama met his teacher, one of Japan's strictest zen masters at the time. This man told him True life is eternal. Birth and death are one. All things are one. This is the truth. Practice Zazen and see, so he did. He practiced exactly as the Roshi taught him and realized satori in about a year and a half, a very short time (and I have a month...right.). When he felt this one-ness, his fierce master cracked a small smile. Good, he said. Now the practice begins. yikes...sartori is where it begins!?!??

What a blessing to be here. Thank you thank you thank you to all who have supported me along the way.
I love you so much.
PS- I can come out from the temple on bath days, the days of the month that end in 4 or 9 (ie the 4th, 9th, 14th, 19th, 24th, and 29th), but I really want to practice a lot, so I may not always come to town.

Growing Zen

Twelve hours not enough
To blog Bukkokuji life.
Library? One hour.

Strunk and White be with me now, oh brevity and clarity...

Shiso Juice

At the temple, they make this really yummie juice from purple shiso:

1kg purple shiso leaf (Japanese herb...kinda like Basil)
1 cup (110 g) sugar
1/2 cup honey
3/4 cup lemon juice
3 cup water

1) Wash the leaves and drain.
2) boil water, cook leaves in small batches until they turn green
3) remove leaves
4) squeeze the juice out of the cooked leaves
5) put sugar and honey into the hot juice and dissolve
6) cool down and add lemon juice
7) store in sterilized bottle

This makes a concentrated syrup you can dillute to make yummie juice for tea time! yeah!!

Friday, July 18, 2008

Miracles

My Zen master was a special forces agent in the Japanese army in WWII. 30 minutes before he was to fly his kamakazi mission, the emperor announced Japan had surrendered.

I listened to him share some of his life story this morning and I wept. So many parallels between his mother and my own. Between his teenage years and my grandfathers. His way of being in the world and the world view I believe in my heart to be true.

I am not so keen to come home...love you all! internet time is short. I'm only allowed out of the temple every 5 days (except for emergencies)...better get back.

I feel like flying into a million pieces, but I know I already am in a million pieces and the million pieces are One.

Zen does this to you, I guess.

Monday, July 14, 2008

Tokyo Shinjuku "Man-Boo Internet Cafe"

wow, I gotta run pretty soon to catch my bus to Kyoto to catch a train to tsuruga to transfer to a train to obama to get to the temple I'll be meditating at for the next month, but I had to blog this: 200 yen (just shy of $2) just bought me a hot shower, unlimited tea, coffee, soda, and/or juice, and internet/TV/DVD use for an hour! They should have these in the states...plus a huge manga comic book library and a ton of magazines. I'm just happy to get a shower, as I began traveling at about 2 this afternoon and I will not arrive in Obama until almost noon tomorrow...and it's hot here. Tokyo was 31 C today...and muggy. happy to shower. Off to the bus!

Sunday, July 13, 2008

Temple clothes and reservation miracles!

Yeah, about manifestation? wow...Keiko made me a pair of black pants for the temple! They're simple and gorgeous and I love them...She has a bunch of fabric at her house(being a weaver and cloth craftperson), and she said cotton would have been better for these pants, but she looked and looked and could not find any...so she made them out of silk!! They are from a recycled kimono. How awesome is this!! She also gave me Lansen's old black field shirt (finally washed for the first time in a couple months, probably?). The outside is sunfaded with a really cool suspender cross on the back, the inside looks nice still and the seams are well sewn, so I think I'm gonna bring it and wear it inside out. I think long sleeves would be better, so I'm still gonna check around in Tokyo, but this is so awesome. I get to wear free/reycled clothes to the temple!

Also, the bus I was hoping to book last night was full, so I was a bit bummed, but decided I'd just call another company in the morning (there are over a hundred highway bus companies in Japan, I guess...) and not worry about it. Well, I made a small prayer that a seat would miraculously be available this morning and bingo, there it was. I rushed out to get Keiko's cell phone number (required for a reservation here!), huriedly typed in my cc info, and viola, I have a seat on the night bus from Tokyo to Kyoto for $39. Compared to $45 or 50 on the cheaper end, and $85 on the more expensive, I'm a pretty happy camper. Then I will need to find a connection from Kyoto to Obama (yes, Obama is where I'm going to meditate for a month. lol, I read online there are many signs around town up there that say Obama for Obama!) and I think that train connection runs about $25. Yeah!

One month down, two to go

Heheheh...they let me drive the wheat combine! As a baker, this was a very cool experience. Probably one of the funnest farm jobs I've done here, though my knees barely fit between the driver's seat and the steering wheel...which was really a pair of sticky levers you pull on one side to go left and the other to go right...and instead of braking, you hit the clutch and the machine quickly grinds to a halt. The tractor is the same. Very strange.

After 2 days of sifting chaff and picking out rotten grains and sneaky wheat-sized weed seeds, 3 days of rinsing and soaking (at which point I found out bad wheat floats...would have made the sifting much simpler!), I mashed the softened, sadly unsprouted kernels with my bare hands and sortof kneeded the gooey result until gluten strands began to form. Fun. There were some pretty rancid smells in the rinsing and kneeding process, but I had faith (or at least hope). The bread was definitely soured...reasonably tastey though.

Victory, it's edible!

Julia from Finland didn't think so, though...this is breadman, whom she made from a wadded up ball of the slice she didn't want.


I have spent a wonderful month WWOOFing on Keiko's farm in Saitama prefecture, learning to spin wool and weave, care for sheep, goats, chickens, and aigamo ducks, expand my Japanese cooking abilites (a little, anyway), weed, harvest, plant, drive a tractor and wheat combine, bake bread from wheat I harvested...It's been really great. The woman who owns the farm is so awesome. What a blessing to know her.

I decided a few days ago to look for a temple to study zazen. Mostly, what I was finding from google/internet searching was short stays--$150 for 4 days or so...I don't want just a taste like this. I want to study. With a little help from bi-lingual Masaru and a contact from a friend of the Salt Lake Zen Center, I have made a reservation at a temple in Obama, Fukui (Bukkokuji). I should be arriving there Tuesday before lunch time and I hope to stay a month. My plan for now is to take a bus Monday night from Tokyo to Kyoto and connect somehow,probably a train. The journey will take about 12 hours and cost about $70, plus $10 to get from Keiko's farm to Tokyo. This is about what I've spent in the last month, including a spree I went on yesterday to buy Japanese ninja farmer shoes and split toe socks to wear with them. I'm still planning to WWOOF a little once I finish my temple stay. Tomorrow morning I will pack for the journey and figure out what stays here at the farm for my return to pick it up and what I will lug with me on the next leg of my journey...

I feel woefully underprepared in Japanese temple ettiquette. I feel like I should bring a gift of some sort but I really don't know what to bring. Maybe some organic veggies from the farm?? I also don't have proper meditation clothing (loose fitting black pants and long sleeve shirts). I have one pair of light weight black pants I bought in Thailand and a black tee-shirt Keiko bought for Lansen that he didn't take with him (too many shirts, he said...one, two, three...waaaaay too many shirts! lol...). It had a small silver playboy bunny embroidered on the front which I had to cut out. Unfortunately, the shirt emerged a bit scathed...patching is on the agenda tonight...hopefully, I can find some cheap clothes or at least a black bedsheet at a recycle shop in Tokyo or Kyoto tomorrow/the next day?

On the other hand, I am now the proud owner of my very own pair of Japanese ninja farmer shoes! They have an indigo colored liner and are about 10" tall, except that's really hot, so I folded them down when I wore them for the first time this evening. That made them look more like Elf shoes, which is potentially a bonus, depending on my mood? I love em'!

Blessings everyone. My heart and prayers go out to everyone wherever you may be on your journey. Much love!

Sunday, July 6, 2008

Happy Sweet-Sixteen, Emiko!

Last night we threw a surprise sweet 16 birthday party for the 60 year old boss's assistant and the 60 year old boss. They've been best friends for 40 years! It was really fun. I made a robot pinata (and wrote ROBOTO-SAN on him! He had 4 faces and dangly arms and legs) and stuffed him with home-made carrot cookies and home-made dollar store (aka 100 yen shoppe) tennis ball poi we got to play with (Lansen has been giving me and Masaru poi spinning lessons--I feel like I'm getting a lot better). There was also a music jam session with the bamboo instruments Lansen's been making and I freestyle-sang a song about life WWOOFing on Keiko's farm (featuring the slicer machine I love so much, even though it cuts me...I think the real name is mandolin slicer? it has adjustable width cutting blades and adjustable slice thicknesses. a couple days ago making potatoes (we have so many potatoes...), I took off a pretty good chunk of my index finger tip. Had to tape it to go to work out of the "nightengale set-o" which is Japanese-English for first aid kit. Challenging to finish frying the potatoes without bleeding into them...doh). Emiko (the un-birthday girl) and I had a little song duel and I sang my favorite aria--Con te Partiro. It was fun to sing again, though I'm a bit out of practice without Wendy's lessons and kirtan...then we sang Happy Birthday in both Japanese and English and had chocolate cake, rubarb jello-ish stuff, soy-chiffon cake, and hagendas ice cream. It was a feast.

Thursday, July 3, 2008

Mixed meditations

I try to keep up with at least 20 minutes meditation everyday. Sitting still in the body is a lot easier than sitting still in the mind. And of course, that is the point of practicing, I just keep spending my meditaiton time wondering what I should be doing (ie vipassana, or samatha, or anapanasati, or big mind/big heart, non-grasping mind...) instead of picking one. Maybe I'll start sitting by setting an intent to do one practice at least for that specific sitting.

Mini-supervisor

I've been at Keiko's farm for nearly a month now, and two new WWOOFers just came today. A german woman (23) and a french guy (21). Since I pretty well know my way around now, I get to help teach the new guys as part of my work. It's kinda fun being a mini-supervisor.

New photos have been taken, but Lansen's memory card won't fit in this computer's reader...perhaps in the next couple days. Saturday, we're planning to throw a random sweet sixteen birthday party for one of the farm workers (she's actually 60 and we have no idea when her actual birthday is, but she's a really cool woman and Lansen thought it would be fun to throw her a birthday party). I spent my post-lunch break taping cardboard scraps into a robot pinata and Masaru got some water balloons at a dollar store near his school, so we're gonna play water-balloon volleyball. I'm also making some poi for spinning lessons and there will probably be a music jam/dance party. Random fun stuff...I'm gonna miss Lansen when he's gone. He's another american and he's super cool. I laugh myself into tears at least weekly with him around...and we've had a couple serious conversations about life the universe and everything. Not quite to the same depth as I get into with the integral folks in Wayne co, but along similar lines. It felt like dusting the cob-webs off a cordoned off section of my brain. Good to do.

I renewed my WWOOF membership and I'm waiting for my new WWOOFer card. I'll probably start thinking about the rest of my summer here pretty soon. Other WWOOF hosts I'd like to try, other places to go, what to do, people to track down and visit. I'm also interested in finding a temple stay for a month-ish. I called a few while I was in Tokyo, but the English speaking was a bit slim, and they only do open retreats annually or semi-annually... I might find what I'm looking for if I head north? It is just so easy to keep on with the daily grind. It's hard to believe a month has gone by already! (Happy almost 4th of July, btw!)

Beansprout

A few days ago, over breakfast, we were talking about the three Japanese alphabets--Kanji (which has 4000-5000 characters!), hiragana (about 50), and katagana (or something like that, with abouth another 50). Hiragana and katagana were developed to write foreigner's names phonetically, but Keiko decided to try to figure out Kanji symbols for Lansen and me. Lansen's name means Battle Royale, which we all had a good laugh over. His dad is in the military, but he's a pretty darn peaceful soul from what I've seen. The kanji they chose for Mare means Blossom that develops from a bud. I thought that was super cool. Better than House of bitter waters, which is the biblical derivation for my full name. They went through a few iterations to arrive at our kanji names, and one for Lansen involved a character that looked like the number 4, so he dubbed himself Funky Fresh Four, and since my name is a whole sentence, he shortened it to Beansprout. It makes for a fun inside joke. My name in katagana (I think?) looks like XP, so that's another possibility, but beansprout seems to be sticking better. I dig it. My mom used to call me peanut, so perhaps I'm finally germinating in life? lol

I'm a wheat combine driver!

They let me drive the combine! That was fun. Especially as a baker, to get to harvest the wheat and then clean the machine was way cool. I hope to sprout some of the grains I harvested and make some bread out of it. The only thing cooler would be if it was wheat (or some other grain) I had planted and cared for.