Daily life

Temple life is so amazing here. Up at 4:40 (ish...), optional running time 4:50-5:10, exercise 5:10-5:30, zazen 5:40-6:20, morning chanting 6:20-7, breakfast at 7 (and what a process meal time is...that's gotta be a blog entry in itself!), tidy up the temple for 15 minutes, then break till samu (work time) at 8:50, tea time at 10 with various juices, teas, and snacks, then free time till lunch at 11:30, then more free time until afternoon samu 1:30 and afternoon tea at 3 (the Japanese love their tea time!). Then evening chanting at 4, supper at 5 (an interesting change from no dinner in Thailand...my body is still not sure about temple life with dinner...I am getting closer to learning to stop when I am full), then three 40 minute rounds of zazen from 6:20-7, 7:20-8, and 8:20-9. Then everyone who needs it (often most of us...) takes a shower (sometimes we have to share for expediency's sake), and then it's bedtime.

I love temple life. Sitting is not always easy--mind is mind...I want to be here, I want to stay forever, I don't understand the purpose of life, I want out of here!, ah, isn't this peaceful, I hate mosquitoes, judgement, judgement, descrimination, criticism, meta, loving-kindness to all beings, love, hope, joy, sorrow, regret (too heavy...recognize and set them down), All this is the flash of an eye or over the course of a week. And the second round of the evening is always a mosquito fest. I wanted to run from the zendo screaming the other day because of the bites...now I sit with a blanket wrapped around my lap. It's a lot easier to deal with the sensation of dripping sweat than becoming a mosquito pin cushion... I feel the practice of emptiness suits my mind a lot better than constant noting like they taught me in Thailand. I wish I had kept up a daily mindfulness/sitting practice. I feel like I'm sitting in front of Einstein trying to learn my multiplication tables...d'oh.

I'm not sure this is the lineage I want to profess homage to forever, but I am grateful for this chance to practice now. Yesterday, two people metioned I can ask for a jukai--a dharma name. There is a woman from Tokyo who will ask in a few days, I think, so maybe we can ask together? yet another name...*sigh* I'm a little tired of new names. Like the rabbi said in Teasdale, the name of the person is the name of God. I already have my birth name (Marabeth--house of bitter waters), the nick-name half I am using now (Mare--female horse, or ocean), my capoeira name (Docura--sweet), my french name I took in high school (Renee-Christiane), and my Pali name from Thailand (Siritaree--one who maintains one's merits). Well, I guess if they want to give me one and the master thinks it is the right time...my heart will know if it is right. Whatever I am called, I am still just this one part of universal consciousness.

I hope everyone is healthy and happy and peaceful. I'll try to send you guys some pictures, but I haven't had the nerve to borrow a digital camera here yet. Blessings!